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M
Maryylove
Hello, my mother in law and father in law currently live with my husband and I. They do not pay any bills or help whatsoever. My husband and I have five children (all under 10). About two months ago, we served my brother in law a 60 day notice to leave. He has lived with us for the past 10 years (he’s 23). He owned a ton of guns in his rooms and kept starting arguments with my husband saying that he kept hearing my husband “whisper” constantly. It got to the point where he started hearing voices constantly. We asked that he remove the guns from the home as we didn’t feel safe. (He is a registered owner). He declined so we served him a 60 day notice. My mother in law and father in law turned against me for that. They said that if anything happens to their son, we will be liable. They retaliated by creating false allegations. My mother in law told her whole family that I was elderly abusing her. She also stated that I was stealing money from her room. Her and my FIL called the police on us and stated that our kids were not being fed. My kids overheard this and became really upset. They started crying and my MIL pretty much called them liars. The police showed up and dismissed it as they seen my FIL was really drunk. My MIL just got diagnosed with congestive heart failure. Her sons (who don’t live with us) want me to have more compassion for their mother and help her. I told them that I want nothing to do with her. She still lives with us and has her own room. My husband and I are paying the mortgage and bills are on own. Both of them are still working.
Am I wrong for wanting nothing to do with my in laws? I’m not kicking them out, just don’t want to talk to them.
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J
Julez3
Everyone is living in your house rent free, throwing accusations, calling the cops, getting drunk, lying, traumatizing your children, throwing shade and your husband is just chill about it? Seriously? Get all the extended family tf out. Eviction notices all around. Get your house, your peace and your tranquility back.
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TeeenieWahine
This is insane. There’s no way I’d be allowing my children to live in an environment like this. Especially with the gun collecting BIL that “hears voices.” Hell no.
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mamatoboys90
That is not a stable or safe or healthy environment to be raising your kids in.
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prettybrown20
They would’ve been out right along with BIL
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Tryptophan
Baby I would move out my damn self with my kids.
And honestly…I didn’t see anything where it says your husband checked his family, so I might leave his ass too.
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k
karter322
I don’t know why you are allowing this. It’s crazy. They need notice to leave as well. If your hubby doesn’t like it then let the 3 of them go live together somewhere else together.
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M
Maryylove
Thank you for your responses. My husband hasn’t talked to his parents or brother since all this happened. I would love to leave my home but I run my online business and take care of a small child (whom I get paid for as well). My husband works from home too so it is very difficult. His mother and father leave in the morning and come back at nighttime. I do not see them much, if at all. My brother in law is out of the house now, thankfully. I do have cameras around the entire house so everything is monitored. At this moment, my in laws are staying away from me. However, their sons pretty much came over and told us that we need to protect his elderly mother (she’s 65) as she is an elderly citizen with congestive heart failure. He says we are wrong for creating tension around her. He says she needs compassion and it is our responsibility to give her that as she has rights. I did not respond to him. I just don’t want anything to do with her. My husband respects my decision but their children don’t.
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J
Julez3
@Maryylove,
your BIL’s can give her compassion out the ying yang and move her into one of their houses….
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B
BabyBirdSoars
Making an assumption here, but based on some of the things you wrote, it sounds like culture may play a significant part of this. Yes, parents have rights but so do children, including your little ones, and so do you as a wife & daughter in-law. How many sons are we talking here? All of the brothers should not be shirking the responsibility of caring for their parents and throwing it all onto you and your husband, especially when your MIL lied and not only jeopardized your freedom and safety by falsely accusing you of crimes, they endangered the wellbeing, security and mental health of your children. On top of all that, you suffered through the dangers of having a mentally unstable gun owner in your home, and your FIL is a drunk. You are more than well within your rights to say you no longer want to live with them, but you are being so gracious and kind by still supporting them living there. You and your kids have a right to feel safe and comfortable in your home. Your BILs need to get their heads out of their butts and acknowledge your kindness. I would neverhave a relationship with someone who attempted to have my children removed from my care, that is one of the few things I could never forget. They should be thanking God all you are doing is not speaking to them.
Tell your husband to man up and tell his brothers straight up to leave you TF alone or take the parents in themselves.
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b
blakely2020
@BabyBirdSoars,
THIS!!!!! Well worded.
Love and honor of inlaws does not mean allowing abuse/false allegations/negligent behavior to occur in the home. I would worry for the safety of OP's children and the child she is watching.
OP needs to move asap!!! And get police involved/all of this in writing
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LilC1
They shoudl have been kicked out a long time ago. I wouldnt be working to provide for my in laws, that money could be spent on my family for vacations or saving for pension.
And then throw in the rest, you need to get rid and the husband aswell if he wont get onboard
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F
FE-Prevatt
Uh no NTA.
But I would consider leaving the home until the guns are all out of your home, BIL is gone, outdoor cameras installed and all locks have been changed.
One of their other sons MIL is crying to can come and pick her and her drunk husband up.
This is a mess and not safe for your children. They are your priority and you need to get them to a safe place until you husband can deal with his family.
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